How to date two. How to date two guys at the same time. An unusual solution to the problem

Valeria Protasova

Reading time: 7 minutes

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Someone will say, “loving two people at once is promiscuity.” And someone will note - “Great! Double portion of attention! And someone will even say that this is not love at all, since you are pulled on both sides at once. And only one in a thousand will understand how hard it is when your heart breaks with love for both men at once.

What to do? How to choose one and only one of the two?

Testing ourselves - 8 methods for choosing between two guys or men

If the heart really, really doesn’t want to make a decision, and the spiritual weather vane is spinning like crazy, it makes sense to test yourself and make the task of such a serious choice easier.

We evaluate the positive qualities of each...

Does he have a sense of humor? Can he cheer you up and does he understand your jokes? A person with a sense of humor looks at the world in a completely different way and charges everyone around with his optimism.
How do you feel when he touches you? And is he able to restrain himself in expressing his feelings?
What are his interests in life? Is he a purposeful person with his own view of life or a bore who values his own comfort most of all in life?
How does he behave when someone needs help? ? Does he rush to help without hesitation, or does he pretend that it doesn’t concern him?
What exactly attracts him to you? (other than your appearance)?
How much time does he spend with you? Savors every minute, stretches out the pleasure, rushes to you as soon as you have a free “minute”? Or is he in a hurry on a date, constantly looking at his watch, and leaving immediately “after...”?
How often does he call you? Just before arriving with the brutal “Baby, I’ll come over today”? Or barely having time to leave the threshold, with a sigh - “baby, I already miss you” and almost hourly, just to find out how you are?
Does he flirt with other girls? in your presence?
How does he treat children?

We evaluate our own feelings...

How do you feel when she calls or sends a message?
Do you feel “in your place” and “at ease” next to him?
Does just the touch of your hand make your heart beat faster?
Can you imagine yourself with it when you're old?
Does he accept you for who you are?
Do you feel next to him that “wings are blossoming” and “you want to live to the fullest”?
Or are you next to him, like a shadow or a bird in a beautiful cage?
Do you feel like you are becoming a better person when you are around him?
Does he support your desires and aspirations in development?
Do you feel special, most loved and desired next to him?
Without which of them do you suffocate, as if your oxygen has been cut off?

We evaluate the negative sides of both...

Does he have any bad habits? that irritate you?
How jealous is he? It’s bad if he’s not jealous at all—either he’s being disingenuous, or he just doesn’t care. It’s also bad if jealousy goes off scale, and every passerby who smiles at you briefly risks getting hit in the nose. The golden mean here is just right.
Does he care what you wear and how you look? Of course, every man wants his woman to be the most stunning and beautiful, but a mature man usually hides the long legs of his partner from prying eyes and disapproves of short skirts, too bright makeup and other delights.
How heavy is the burden of the past on his shoulders? And if “very difficult” - won’t it interfere with your relationship?
Is he trying to control you? Or does he always look for a compromise if a controversial issue arises?
Is he able to admit that he is wrong?
How often does he have outbursts of unreasonable aggression?
Is he capable of taking the first step towards reconciliation? if you quarreled?
Have you noticed his lies? How frank is he with you? How high is the level of trust between you?
Has he told you about his past love? And in what tone? If he thinks about his ex too often, most likely his feelings for her have not cooled down yet. If he remembers you in “bad words,” you should think about it. A real man will never say anything bad about his ex-passion, even if she gave him “hell on earth.”
If you are sick, does he run to get medicine and sit by your bedside? Or waits until you get better, occasionally sending SMS “How are you?”?

We evaluate the feelings of both...

How deep are his feelings for you? Is he ready to connect his life with you forever or is your relationship superficial and based only on physical attraction?
What is he willing to sacrifice for you? Will he be able to rush after you if you suddenly decide to study/work in another city?
What might his reaction be if you decide to break up with him? “Come on, goodbye” or “What happened?”? Will he immediately disappear from your life or will he fight for you? Of course, there is no need to ask - just try to imagine such a situation and its consequences.

Hall help or call a friend

If you have a trusting relationship with parents , share your problem with them. They will probably tell you what is best for you to do, and will express their opinion “from the height of their years” about both candidates for your heart.

We can talk and with friends , but only if you trust them 100 percent.

And the decision, of course, is still up to you.

We are making a list...

How are they similar to each other?
What are their differences?
What exactly do you feel for each (describe each feeling)?
What qualities do you like about them?
What qualities do you absolutely dislike?
Which one do you have more in common with?
Which of them will you be most happy to wait for from work with a delicious dinner?
Which of them do you want to introduce to your parents and relatives? And how can parents perceive everyone?

Let's toss a coin...

Let one be tails and the other be heads. After tossing a coin, follow your thoughts - who exactly do you want to see on your palm?

Let's take our time...

Don't try to find a solution immediately. Give yourself (and them) some time. Take a break from both for at least a week - which one will you miss more? Just don't drag out this selection process for too long.

And if your relationship has not yet crossed that very border of intimacy, do not cross it. Make a choice before you realize someone has been cheated on.

The choice between the two guys has been made - what's next?

If the decision is truly made, it's time to part ways with one of them. There is no need to leave it “in reserve” - tear it right away. After all, if she both dreams of living with you until old age, then tormenting both of you is simply unforgivable. Let go of the one you care less about.
There is no need to tell him when breaking up that you have “another”. Do this as gently as possible. It is unlikely that he will be happy with your confessions, but you have the power to soften the blow. Try to part as friends.
The feeling of emptiness from the loss of one or the other is normal. This will pass. Humble yourself and don’t beat yourself up.
Thoughts like “what if I made a mistake?” also to the side. Build your relationships and enjoy life. Never regret anything. Life itself will put everything in its place.
Accept that one of you three will get hurt. It won't work any other way.
If your conscience is tearing you apart from the inside, and a solution just can’t come, and they, among other things, are also best friends, then break up with both of them. This way you will provide yourself with a very solid “time out” to sort out your feelings, and will not become a wedge in their friendship.

In general, listen to your heart! It won't lie.

Have you ever had to make such a difficult decision, and what advice can you give to girls facing a choice?

Excuses are needed by the insecure and weak, and they should be ignored. How to date several girls at the same time and not die? Reasons that force men to date several girls at the same time.

Yvette, Lisette, Musetta,
Jeanette, Georgette.

My whole life is warmed by you, like the July sun.
As long as you are with me I swear
My song is not sung!
Mironov A. - “I’ll get married, I’ll get married.”
Text author: Okudzhava B.

The question of whether this is necessary and whether it is worth playing with feelings with several girls is debatable. Most of the female population will say that this is immoral and disgusting, that men are males and complete asocial types. Perhaps this is so. Men also have a fair range of opinions and many do not see anything reprehensible in this. Personally, I am not going to whitewash a man with the science of the polygamous nature of his male nature; the insecure and weak need excuses, and don’t give a damn about them. This is a sober calculation: “I want and meet with two, three, five females... my business,” especially since no one is in a legal relationship yet.

Reasons that force men to date several girls at the same time.

Let's not take into account such options as the desire to feel like a real macho or the desire to show off in front of friends. This is hardly worthy of a man. There are two main reasons:

Many men behave like Giacomo Girolamo Casanova (Italian: Giacomo Girolamo Casanova) or at least Don Juan (Spanish: Don Juan) - the legendary loving Spaniard, libertine and complete lawless man, with a completely understandable goal. One girl often cannot give everything a man wants. Fair, dark, red or Japanese, but there are few secret male desires and not yet realized fantasies. Until satiety and awareness of his desires sets in, the modern Casanova will not leave the path of love in search of adventure. Some men are incorrigible.

Life is short, girls appear, replace each other and disappear on the horizon, differing in quality: appearance and character, modifying our inner and outer world. Men become smarter, more experienced and less vulnerable, in search of a better companion. The choice of girls is great; getting to know your next passion takes time and spending it on one is not always prudent. Sometimes the speed of approach depends only on the fourth dimension. What to do? A parallel attack on several fortresses is more prudent. Tired of one war, there is always a chance to try yourself in another place, leaving the opportunity to return to a previous relationship. There is a chance to determine who you like, compare partners, understand yourself and your desires, feel how your sex life is in full swing, and a spare “busty” airport has never hurt anyone.

Pangs of conscience or “Freedom for parrots!”

Perhaps married people live longer, let’s not argue with nerds, but single people are more interesting!

On the one hand, men are responsible for those they have tamed, but aren’t we blaming the stronger sex too much? If a man leaves a girl, then he is a scoundrel and a complete womanizer. If a girl leaves a guy out of business, then it’s his own fault, he wasn’t good enough, courteous, caring, or who knows what.

Why should you worry that you are dating several, yes, you may be deceiving them, but there are good reasons for this. We want to be happy, even at the cost of women's tears. There is no need to be cynical and say that the female sex does not do this. Your girlfriend is probably also looking to the left, in search of a better female life, and it’s stupid to get hung up on it. An eye for an eye and nothing personal. The end does not always justify the means and this is everyone’s personal choice.

How to date several girls at the same time and not die?

We could serve in intelligence,
We could play in a movie.

We, like birds, sit on different branches
And we fall asleep on the subway.
Leap Year - Metro.

Basic rules for successful communication with representatives of the opposite sex:

When choosing girls, you should strive for diversity. There is no point in collecting and having clones in your possession. The main goal is to understand the versatility and diversity of female nature. Try different elements: fire, water, air or earth, girls from completely different worlds. In addition to experiencing the full range of tastes of the fairer sex, you will protect yourself and minimize the possibility of your so different mistresses crossing paths.

It is necessary to have good “rear forces”. In business, you will often need people who can confirm your words and on whom many incomprehensible matters can be attributed. The best choice would not be friends - men, as a category of dubious witnesses, or a woman, especially a pretty one, but independent individuals or, even better, a married couple. It’s good to have a couple of grandparents, distant uncles and aunts in your arsenal, as a guarantor of reliable family well-being. As a last resort, you can resort to the services of agencies that will provide a professional “excuse” or a witness.

You don't need to get used to calling your girlfriend by name. It is not known exactly how many people accidentally let it slip in a dream or in reality, but the number is clearly considerable. Take into account: “Bunny, mouse, cat, honey, candy” and so on you can continue ad infinitum.

In a big city it is easier to keep a couple of girlfriends, especially if they live in different areas. You should be careful when choosing to visit public places. You should have favorite places with each of your passions, and they should not coincide. There is more pretentiousness in insisting on a meeting place if you want to remain intact and not repeat the fate of “Battleship Potemkin.”

Telephones are modern traitors. Girlfriends should be on the phone list, preferably by their full name and no familiar names. SMS is a completely different story. During meetings with one of your girlfriends, it’s better to turn off your phone or set it to silent ringing. It’s good to have a couple of SIM cards, just don’t get confused. Don't forget about your computer and control ICQ, correspondence and messages on social networks.

An irregular work schedule, training, courses, and all kinds of activities provide an opportunity to hide from the attacks of one of the passions. It is advisable that it would be impossible to check your “events” without the help of fortune tellers and psychics. And it’s difficult for us, modern men, to catch palmistry.

Hygiene comes first. Remember: women, when they need it, are extremely attentive to the smallest detail. A woman's nose is sensitive to smells and her eyes are as sharp as a kite's. Don't fall victim to your own carelessness.

Try to avoid gifts from girls, especially if they are frequent visitors to your home. Questions from your next crush about a new ridiculous toy on your bed can be confusing. No incriminating photographs framed or on the computer. An attempt to change gifts, photographs, depending on the visiting mistress, will most likely end in failure, given your absent-mindedness and “lapses” in memory. It’s better to give everyone the same gift yourself, but their preferences and tastes will have to be equalized. Five postcards “To my one and only!” - this is the required minimum.

You need to lie skillfully and preferably as close to the truth as possible. If you have memory problems, write them down in a notebook, or better yet, eat vitamins. Paper incriminating evidence can explode, cripple, and can even kill you no worse than an F-1 grenade. Sometimes it is unpleasant to lie, but remember the cheerful character Dunno, and it will become easier. You are the same character as him, and you are lying with the best intentions. He, too, was popular with creatures of the opposite sex and managed to make two little girls fall in love with him. Think about it, who loved Znayka, Silent or Vintik? Nobody, so draw your own conclusions.

We meet several girls, but where is the ending?

He has fun with people
And we suffer from love.
And he laughs, and he laughs,

Evil joker, mischievous Cupid.
Maybe during the day, maybe at night,
He will definitely shoot the arrow again,
And in whom, he knows for sure,
I'll be in love.
"Song of the Golden Cupid."

The goal has been achieved and the girls are unaware of all aspects of your new male life. Every evening is eventful and there is an opportunity to feel like a loving male or an eastern sheikh.

Are you happy? Perhaps, otherwise, what is hidden in this smile? Sometimes you feel like Stirlitz in a circle of enemies and, while reviewing “Seventeen Moments of Spring,” you involuntarily write notes on your cuffs. Friends smile when they meet you, pat you on the shoulder and call: “Don,” reducing Don Juan to three letters. Already, out of habit with your friends, you are afraid to call your comrades by name, only nicknames. The wives of your friends treat you with caution and whisper behind your back, although it is understandable that they are afraid for their new “property”. Your nerves and endurance have been tempered, but sometimes you flinch from an unknown female voice in the crowd. At times you think about going to work in the theater or cinema, you are an excellent actor and have plenty of talent, but the life scene seems much more interesting. The book “Memoirs” by Giovanni Giacomo Casanova, gathering dust in the nightstand, seems a little naive and smacks of a sugary love story. You are not alone, but you almost no longer believe in love and are turning into a cynic. Conscience makes itself felt and sharpens a tired heart, some charming girls fall in love with you, hope, make plans and try to be the best... Although, to hell with sentimentality.

Everyone chooses to date several girls or one. One restless Cupid does not sleep, watches with a smile the life of a man from above and knows that next time the arrow will hit his heart. And there is already a strong half of humanity, just hold on and it cannot end any other way for a man.

Not everyone can date two girls at the same time. Some want it, but don’t know how to keep everything secret. This is especially true for residents of small towns or those who have many mutual friends with one of the girls.

Others want to, but doubt whether it's right. And you →

Do you doubt whether you can date two people?

Perhaps what I’m going to tell you now you won’t hear anywhere else.

Over many years of my practice in the field of seduction, I came to one not very pleasant conclusion.

While you follow the rules of morality (morality is created to suppress your natural desires, so it is the same as going against nature), you cannot for the opposite sex. Girls feel that you are cutting off the oxygen to your natural desires.(after all, not fulfilling your desires leads to all sorts of tensions in the body and in behavior), and they don’t see you as a real male.

On the other hand, there are those men who do not care about moral standards and who always fulfill their desires. They can treat women harshly (according to the women themselves) and cheat on them. They can cause jealousy when communicating with others, or completely neglect meetings with them, continuing to go about their business.

Yes, girls express disapproval of their behavior. However, they still feel attracted to such men on a physical level.

More than one hundred times I have found confirmation of this theory and seen what happens in a relationship when a man becomes “correct.”

Therefore, if you have a desire to date two girls, then there is nothing wrong with that. On the contrary, each of them will begin to feel the presence of a competitor, due to which your masculine value will increase.

All that remains is to learn how to do all this so that none of your girls has specific “evidence” against you.

How to date two people and not get burned

If you want to manage to maintain relationships with both girls, then know: almost all female representatives, like a powerful computer, can easily figure you out. On the other hand, it is not impossible to keep your affairs secret.

To do this, you need to follow a number of certain rules.

Don't go on dates with one where you often go out with another.. Including when mutual friends are often in this place. By the way, about mutual friends. When you plan your meetings with one of the girls, try to remember if the other girl’s acquaintances live near the meeting place.

The less you appear in such places, the more secret everything will be.

Now let's talk about smells

Condoms tend to leave odors on your hand. Therefore, after you touch them with your hands, wash your hands with soap(preferably with a strong smell) several times. This is the only way to kill this smell.

What to do when you can’t figure out who you just feel affection for and who you love. What to do if you are dating two guys at the same time? How not to make a mistake and choose between them the one you really love?

Some girls have to think about such questions, and if you are reading this article, then you are one of them. Here we consider the question of how to get out of such a situation in order to cause as little pain as possible to those who are close to you.

First of all, you need to figure out why you are dating two guys at the same time, and then what to do in such a situation.

It is quite possible that you have fallen in love with a young man. I started dating him, but over time the love passed, and you met another guy. And you feel sorry for that guy whom you no longer love, you are afraid of hurting him and therefore cannot break up with him. Although in reality you want to be with another person, it is for him that you now have real feelings.

This situation is unpleasant for all three. You suffer because of the remorse that torments you. That guy whom you loved before, but now doesn’t, in any case feels and experiences something, perhaps even is jealous of you, since he is in the dark. And your current love cannot put up with the fact that he is forced to share you with that person who is no longer interesting or necessary to you.

The right decision here is to break off those relationships that have already exhausted themselves. Yes, this is not easy to do, but in reality it is the only way out of this situation. It is important to understand here that the longer you delay resolving this issue, the more likely it is that you will end up losing both of your boyfriends, since they will not be able to withstand such an attitude and repeated lies for long. You need to muster up the courage to talk frankly with your first boyfriend and break up with him. He may start begging you not to do this, asking for another chance for himself, but you shouldn’t stay with him just out of pity. In the end, you will still break up, only it will become even worse and much more painful for everyone.

There are also guys who won’t let the girl go and begin to intimidate or threaten her. If you come across such an instance, you should find the necessary strength within yourself and ask for help from someone you consider necessary. This could be your new boyfriend or brother, as well as other relatives, and sometimes even representatives of law enforcement agencies. Since there are often cases when such a situation becomes dangerous to the life and health of a girl. Therefore, you need to ask for help in such a situation and don’t be shy about it. True friends and loved ones will be able to understand you and will definitely support you.

And there are other situations when a girl seems to be between two fires: she has a relationship with a young man, but she begins to actively become interested in and start a relationship with another guy. But she also cannot boldly say that she has already stopped loving her boyfriend. She loves him and does not intend to end her relationship with him. But why then new feelings and what can they mean? And most importantly, what to do now?

If you find yourself in a similar situation, it means that you were missing something in your relationship with your first guy. If this is a long enough relationship, perhaps the passion that was at the very beginning of the relationship has simply passed, you already know him well enough and your relationship is moving to a routine stage. This is what prompted you to pay attention to another guy, so unpredictable and bright. If you find yourself in such a situation, then you should think about what is more important to you - a short-term hobby or a long-term relationship? Very often, girls quickly get bored with such bright guys and she again wants to go back to that person next to whom she felt calm and reliable. However, it is possible that your boyfriend finds out about your betrayal and breaks off your relationship himself. Therefore, you need to think about everything, while listening to your own feelings. Probably, you will just need to change something in your relationship with the guy, diversify it, make it brighter and more fun. Try talking to your guy about this (not about the relationship with the new guy, but about the routine of your relationship). Try to explain to him what you want from him and solve this problem together. If a guy really loves you, he will try to understand you and meet you halfway. Perhaps he will also point out some of your mistakes, and you will again find a solution that will suit both of you. You just need to remember that love, true and strong, can overcome and conquer all obstacles. That is why you need to not forget about this feeling and, of course, respect the wishes and feelings of your boyfriend. And with that guy who could become a temporary flash of vivid sensations, it would be better to immediately break off your relationship, no matter what stage it was at. Just explain the whole situation to him, most likely he will understand you. The main thing is that he doesn’t fall in love with you. Just break off all contacts with him, let your lives proceed separately from each other. The main thing here is that this guy doesn’t turn out to be mean and doesn’t start ruining your life, trying to achieve some of his goals. And if this is the case, then it’s better to tell your boyfriend everything yourself, hoping for understanding and forgiveness, this is the only right way out.

The situation when a girl has two guys is painful, unpleasant and slippery for all its participants. After all, the truth will sooner or later come true and then there is a danger of losing your loved ones. That is why the answer to the question “what to do if you are dating two guys?” A statement can serve as a statement: you need to think carefully and weigh how important the first and second relationships are for you? There is also this option - in fact, you do not love either of them, but are simply trying to compensate one guy with another. It is important to understand here that this is an ineffective method. In fact, none of them suits you, and you want to be truly happy! And for this you need a young man who will suit you and like you in every way. And when you find such a guy, you will no longer want to look for something or someone else, trying to make up for the shortcomings in your boyfriend. This should be a guy next to whom a girl can feel comfortable and calm, just happy and the way she is. A relationship with a guy is not a place where you need to take quantity; quality is much more important here. This is exactly the case when you need to rely on your heart and choose what really suits only you! Do not forget this simple rule, and then such problems will not arise in life.

Many men and women cannot imagine relationships with several people at once, because it is immoral and socially unacceptable. In response to such reasoning, psychologist Seth Meyers explained that meetings with two are more common than you think and gave arguments why this is not cheating.

Difference between dating and relationship

First, let's look at the term "dating." Dating refers to the time when two people are romantically interested in each other and they spend time getting to know each other. Dating is the first stage of a romantic union.

The second phase is the “relationship” phase, which begins when two people have been dating for a while and decided to make the relationship more serious and committed. This is the moment when most men and women start calling their boyfriend or girlfriend boyfriend or girlfriend.

Set boundaries first and be clear about what you want.

When you meet someone you love, you should tell them if you are looking for a long-term monogamous relationship. While you think it's unnecessary, claiming it's obvious, commitment and monogamy aren't always accurate. In my experience, there have been too many cases where relationships ended because two people wanted different things.

Once you and your partner have discussed what kind of relationship each of you wants, it's time to start the relationship.

The getting to know each other phase should not last too long

If you date two people at once and you treat each of them with respect, you are not cheating on anyone.

But the period of acquaintance between two people should not last very long. When you meet someone you like and start dating someone new, it shouldn't take more than a couple of months to figure out if you want to start calling them your boyfriend or girlfriend; and officially make the relationship monogamous.

But in the first month or two of getting to know someone, it's only natural and fair to go on a date or two with someone else until you find someone you decide to have a serious relationship with.

The mistake people make is trying to skip the dating process

Most people want to skip the dating process when they meet someone. They like to jump straight into a committed relationship because the first couple of months after you meet someone can be uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing. “Is she talking to anyone else besides me?” “What if he likes her more than me?”

In the end, it all comes down to insecurity. The more carefree you are, the less worried you'll be about finding someone who likes someone else. A person with high self-esteem believes that he is a good match, so he focuses on whether he wants to get into a relationship with his partner or not. A person with low self-esteem focuses on how his partner feels about him, and then fears that he might fall in love with someone else.

If you are dating someone and you think that this person might choose to date two people at the same time, don't worry and put aside your uncertainty. Tell yourself, “I think I would make a great partner, and when he sees what I see in myself, he will choose me. If he didn't choose me, my self-esteem is not so fragile as to upset me. After all, this man had only known me for a month or two. Is he worth my tears?