Reasons and actions why a woman avoids her ex. What women do men avoid? Reasons why a man is afraid of a woman
You know for sure that the guy is not indifferent to you, but he demonstratively avoids you: he doesn’t call, doesn’t write, and avoids conversations. It would seem a paradoxical situation. However, this happens often in life. Why do men ignore the women they like? In this article we will talk about the most common reasons, and also give some simple recommendations on how to solve this problem.
So, you know for sure that a man likes you, but for some unknown reason he doesn’t pay any attention to you. The very first question that needs to be answered is: does he really like you, or do he just think so? You must have some real evidence of his sympathy, and not just speculation. Otherwise, this is self-deception, which will bring you only disappointments.
The fact that a man is not indifferent can be told by his words, actions, and body language. We recommend reading:
Watch him carefully for a long time. Make sure he really shows signs of affection and it's not just a figment of his imagination.
Are you absolutely sure that you care about him, but he still ignores you? You can move on and look for the roots of the problem. Here are some of the most common reasons.
A man is afraid of a serious relationship
He believes that his attentions will entail serious consequences for which he is not prepared. Such men usually do not prioritize relationships, focusing more on their careers.
They are planning a long-term relationship somewhere in the distant future, but definitely not now or even in the coming years. They leave obligations and trust for later, living only for today and only for themselves.
If you meet such a guy and like him, then you are out of luck. Trying to influence him is a harsh and thankless job. The best remedy in such a situation is to find another man.
Do you want to know all the secrets of seducing men? We recommend watching free video course Alexey Chernozem "12 laws of seduction for women." You will receive a step-by-step 12-step plan on how to drive any man crazy and keep his affection for many years.
The video course is free. To watch, go to this page, leave your e-mail and you will receive an email with a link to the video.
A man thinks a woman is too good for him
If a man is a “timid” type, most likely he is simply afraid of being rejected. That is why he diligently hides his sympathy from everyone around him and from himself first of all.
In melodramas they often play out the situation when a girl from a noble family is endowed with a remarkable intelligence and is pleasant to talk to, and he is an ordinary, unremarkable person. And he suffers because he fell madly in love and cannot do anything: neither leave, nor take a step towards.
Yes, this is often shown on screens, but it also happens in life sometimes. What to do in this case? If you like the man, you can. This will encourage him and make him take the first step towards.
If this doesn’t help, you can take the initiative into your own hands.
Such behavior by a man is a clear sign of low self-esteem. Building a relationship with such a person will be problematic. Think carefully about whether you really need it.
The guy doesn't want to take responsibility
If not to say “shifting” responsibility onto the woman. The man wants you to take full responsibility for the development of the relationship and become a leader. He wants the girl to pave the way along which everything will develop.He can usually do this for two reasons:
- Familiar behavior pattern. As a rule, his parents accepted that the woman was the head of the house. And he unconsciously, without malicious intent, seeks to repeat their behavior.
- Your actions. No matter how paradoxical it may sound, you may be the reason. Your overly active behavior can also give rise to indecisiveness in him.
Each time you interrupt his impulses, you can bring the relationship to the point of absurdity and make the man lethargic and passive. A classic example is when a woman takes things by storm, starting to crush her with messages and calls. Even then he gets used to the fact that you do everything for him, and does not strive to lead you forward. This arrangement is unfavorable for you, because only you will promote communication, and he will sadly trail behind.
He ignores in order to “fill” himself
This insidious method is to “lower” the girl’s price and make it clear that he doesn’t need a relationship that much. And he will succeed easily, since men have a lower need for relationships than women.
By demonstrating indifference, he makes you wonder if everything is okay with you. Ultimately, you begin to worry and doubt yourself. A woman in such a state sees a hero in a man and happily gives him all of herself.
Therefore, be an elusive but achievable dream for a man. Show him signs of sympathy, but never “fall in value.”
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Still from the film “One Day”It happens that this alienation haunts us from the very beginning of a relationship, but it is much more painful when we already have a lot in common, and our partner suddenly becomes cold and indifferent. And we are at a loss as to where to look for the reason for such a change.
And such stories are very common. Take Mr. Big from Sex and the City. How hard Carrie experienced her relationship with her beloved man, who wouldn’t let go, but wouldn’t let her get too close!
Let's not forget that men and women view relationships differently. Research shows that men are more likely than we are to remain emotionally isolated in relationships and marriages.
Why does a partner avoid emotional attachment? There are several explanations.
1. He is a player
One of the most obvious reasons why a partner remains emotionally distant is that he does not take you and your relationship seriously. Men generally love adventure. Sometimes they deliberately seek a partner to relieve boredom or boost their self-esteem.
If you cannot always understand what kind of relationship you have, and your chosen one often suddenly disappears from your life, also returning unexpectedly, coming up with a million reasons and excuses - unfortunately, you are dating a player.
2. He is a perfectionist
Perfection is good. But some people can spend their entire lives searching for the perfect match. Regardless of how you behave, such a partner will always find fault with something. He will tirelessly try to change you because you don't live up to the ideal (and you can't, no one can). Such relationships almost always end according to one scenario - the man gives up fruitless attempts and leaves.
3. He is too independent or too dependent.
There is nothing good in either extreme. You may have met men who constantly seek approval or are very dependent on their mother's opinion (even about whether to date a particular woman). Others, on the contrary, are so independent that they never show their emotions so as not to look vulnerable. Even in front of the closest people, including the woman you love. It’s not easy with men from both categories. They avoid emotional attachments in every possible way.
4. Experience of difficult relationships
Another common reason why a man is wary of new relationships or doesn't want to get emotionally involved is because he has already been through a toxic relationship. In any new girl he likes, he is afraid to see the features of the woman who wounded him, so he very slowly and carefully approaches.
5. He is a workaholic
Some men are at work all the time, even when they are sleeping, having breakfast or talking to you. For them, their career comes first, and there is simply not enough time to work on relationships. For such men, work is the center of life, and love always remains somewhere on the periphery.
6. Financial instability
Most men think that they should be the head of the family and the breadwinner. And the question here is not about the lack of modernity of views, but about the most elementary psychological attitudes from ancient times.
If he does not have financial stability, believe me, this will greatly shake his self-confidence and peace of mind. This will automatically affect the relationship with you. If he feels like he can't buy you what you want or contribute to household expenses, he may begin to withdraw and withdraw emotionally from you.
7. Troubled childhood
As we know, our personality is the result of past experiences, including childhood experiences. Our childhood shapes our future.
If your man’s parents separated, did not give him enough attention and care, or even subjected their child to psychological or physical abuse, it should not be surprising that as an adult he remains emotionally distant in the relationship. In all of the above circumstances, he may have difficulty trusting or expressing himself.
8. He doesn't think he's good enough for you.
Maybe you have a very prestigious job with an excellent salary. Or nature has rewarded you with the appearance of a Victoria's Secret model. All this can cause concern for your partner. He may be afraid that at any moment you may meet another person more worthy of you. His lack of self-confidence and fear of losing you may affect the degree emotional intimacy.
9. Personal problems
Perhaps your man has some kind of personal problem that you are not aware of, and in which he is not yet (or at all) ready to involve you. This problem can weigh so heavily on him that a man decides that until he deals with it, he cannot afford a close relationship. The same applies to possible family problems (sick parents, for example).
10. You have different goals in life.
It may be that you are both too different, and he feels that your relationship is preventing him from achieving his goals. For example, he was planning to move to another city for the sake of a career, or was going to fly away to study in another country, but then he met you, and now he faces a difficult choice between his plans and a relationship that has barely begun. Or maybe your aspirations and life choices are simply alien to him. In this case, the man will prefer not to become emotionally involved in the relationship.
Men may look outwardly harsh and self-sufficient, but they really need love and female care. However, in relationships with them you should not rely only on your illusions and hopes. Every woman is able to feel the signs that her partner is not capable of emotional attachment and harmonious, trusting relationships. Remember that you deserve better and do not ignore your intuition, which says that you are not on the same path with this person.
This happens quite often. Moreover, avoidance can arise both before the start of a relationship, and during it, and even quite long ones. Women are always at a loss as to why this happened. But the point is in male psychology - it is because of it that sometimes a man avoids a woman.
For what reasons does a man avoid a woman?
- You will be amazed to learn the main secret of men: all men are afraid of women. This refers to those women whose opinions he values. If a man likes a woman, he involuntarily changes his style of behavior in her presence: he begins to blush or turn pale, becomes tongue-tied, fussy or overly cheeky, tries to look away from the object of his adoration, not meet him, but at the same time he is like a magnet is drawn to him. Of course, a woman notices this, but if she does not show in any way that she is interested in a man, then she may not wait for him to approach her: for fear of being rejected, it is easier for a man to completely give up trying to get closer. An unapproachable and independent appearance, confident behavior, and a successful career make a woman unattainable, and a man involuntarily delays the moment of trying to get closer, leaving it “for later, until better times.” But as soon as she encourages a man with a word, gesture or look, he immediately turns into a hunter pursuing game. This is why it is easier for a man to agree to relationships with those women who are more accessible.
- Emancipation played a cruel joke on women. Their desire to take a position in society on an equal basis with men involuntarily changed their style of behavior: they became less feminine and soft, because, playing men's business games, they were forced to be tough and firm. As they say, “to live with wolves, howl like a wolf” - these are the rules of the game. Business women behave in their acquired manner, even when in a non-work environment. And the man sees in her not a woman - the object of his adoration, but a rival with whom he enters into confrontation. No man likes to be bossed around if he doesn't want to. If a woman does not change her behavior, he leaves her.
- A man begins to avoid a woman even when his feelings for her have faded. He doesn’t have the courage to tell her directly about this, because he considers himself guilty of falling out of love with her, and he prefers to simply stop dating her. A woman should not try to sort out the relationship - he will have a lot of excuses to avoid this.
- Fear. The very feeling that can make a person unhappy. Perhaps the man once loved and was happy in a relationship with a girl who later hurt him. Such an unsuccessful life experience made him reconsider his attitude towards all women and now, he is afraid of falling in love again;
- Diffidence. Every person who has been rejected at least once is afraid that it will happen again. A man can be in love with a girl, but at the same time ignore him, because he does not know whether she will reciprocate his feelings;
- Reluctance to start new relationships. The young man has warm feelings for a person of the opposite sex, but does not take the first steps, because he believes that he is not yet ready for a serious relationship.
- If a man is offended, then It’s better not to touch it for the first few hours. It is necessary to give him time to be alone and think. It’s better to leave the house altogether for a few hours and not pester him. You need to make peace with your beloved man only when he is in a good mood, otherwise you can cause a new wave of scandal.
- Before talking, it is recommended to put things in order your appearance, do natural makeup and wear beautiful clothes. This must be done even if the man and woman live together.
- You only need to approach a young man with a charming smile on the face, which he, of course, cannot resist.
- Next, you need ask him for an apology for your mistake and try to speak sensitively and sincerely.
Women! If you like a man, but he doesn’t pay any attention to you, beckon him subtly and veiledly, encourage him, provoke him to get closer - and he will definitely respond.
Answers to any questions
For modern youth, a fairly common situation is when a man is attracted to a woman, and he carefully ignores her, hiding his feelings towards her. A representative of the stronger sex is trying to avoid meeting his beloved and does not want to communicate with her. The behavior is quite strange, but still, why does a man ignore the woman he likes?
Can a man love and ignore?
Is it possible that a strong personality simultaneously feels sympathy for a girl and avoids her? Yes, many are capable of this. From a psychological point of view, there are several reasons for this special behavior:
Exists several categories of men who may ignore the girl they like:
He likes the girl, but he considers her only as a friend or he just likes her clothing style.
The woman is attractive to him, but he does not want to deceive her expectations.
Of course, he would like to meet an attractive beauty, but he is stopped by the stamp in his passport, the presence of children and his own conscience.
Girls have rejected him thousands of times, so he no longer hopes that someone is able to reciprocate his feelings.
If a young man does not show attention to a pretty girl, then this is not yet a reason to look for shortcomings in himself. Most likely he has there are reasons for this.
The man is offended and ignores
How is a man different from a woman? First of all, he strong rod, a cold-blooded person who does not show her emotions and just a strong man. But even he has such a feeling as resentment. He may be greatly offended by the fact that the woman he likes openly flirts in front of his eyes with male representatives, even she does this on purpose in order to cause another stream of jealousy. He may be upset that the girl does not give him enough attention, communicates with him in a rude manner, and other similar things.
How to understand that a young man is offended? Just look at his behavior. He may be silent for a long time, reluctant to answer questions put to him, stop answering phone calls and avoid meetings in every possible way. In some cases, a young man may stop going to work and console himself with alcohol.
At this time, almost every person has the thought that the man wants to break up, stop communicating, or that he has another object of sympathy. But no, he was just offended. It is much more difficult to make amends to a young man than to a girl, but it needs to be done and the sooner the better, until his resentment grew into indifference .
What to do if a man is offended?
Ignoring due to excessive activity of a woman
Every girl knows from adolescence that a man is not prey, he is the real deal. hunter who likes to create a plan, follow it purposefully and ultimately achieve results.
But today's girls can be overly active, they are the first to meet someone, make a date, ask for a phone number, and so on. At a meeting, most likely, he is often the initiator exactly a woman, not a young man.
Of course, under such circumstances, he may feel very constrained and uncomfortable, which is why he will begin to ignore the woman he likes in every possible way, avoid communicating with the girl, even if he likes her. If this has already happened, then he becomes a confident hunter.
If a man behaves shyly and does not show signs of attention, then you should think about whether he feels sympathy or whether the girl just made it up.
- How does a man in love behave?
- When meeting, he cannot take his eyes off the girl;
- His behavior becomes constrained and uncertain;
- He often looks stupid and embarrassed when talking;
- He always looks good;
- When meeting, he cannot relax; his hands constantly fiddle with the zipper catch, ballpoint pen or other object. The gaze seems to be directed into emptiness.
- You should pay attention to who the man is communicating with; most likely, he has a friend or acquaintance. You need to ask him to tell the man that his feelings are not unrequited;
- You need to get to know him yourself, but in such a way that he is sure that he is the initiator. For example, you can sit down at his table and smile sweetly, he will have no choice, and he will be the first to start a conversation;
- A man likes to think that he is strong and smart; you need to remind him of this more often, asking him to carry a heavy bag, rearrange the house, or fix a breakdown in the car.
How to get him to meet you?
It has already been said about why a man ignores the woman he likes. If this is caused by fear, fear of being rejected or lack of self-confidence, then it needs to be push to the first step:
When a man stopped ignoring a woman and began to show feelings, it is important don't relax, otherwise, he will lose interest again. Continue to interest a man and you will achieve the desired result!
Video: ignores or loves?
In this video, psychologist and master of women's practices E. Kosheleva will tell you why sometimes a woman she likes ends up being completely ignored by a man, how to deal with this and what to do to correct the situation:
How to determine the behavior of a man in love
As a rule, others pay more attention to the behavior of a woman in love than to a man who is under the influence of the same feeling. Obviously, this happens because ladies tend to demonstrate their condition more openly. Men, on the contrary, prefer to hide their feelings when meeting the object of their love.
Male love: how to recognize it?
This question concerns any woman who would like to know how seriously a man takes her and whether she can count on a further relationship with him. This determines whether flirting will begin and develop into something deeper.
And yet, the behavior of a man in love, no matter how much he hides his feelings, changes to some extent.
The first thing that gives him away is: confusion. Even a confident, strong person, a winner by nature, gets lost when he is overwhelmed by unfamiliar emotions, he even begins to get confused about words when your beloved appears on the horizon. He is overwhelmed by shyness, and he is unable to cope with it.
Many lovers certainly want to show themselves fearless knights. They can do crazy things - climb to the window of their chosen one through a drainpipe or, for example, in an instant turn into a reckless driver. In a word, do everything to demonstrate your valor.
A bouquet under the door of your beloved, a letter with lyric poems - all this should convince the woman that he is endlessly in love, and therefore wants to please her.
This also happens naturally: a man is looking for a way to spend time with a woman he is interested in: tries to invite you to the theater, to the cinema, for a walk. But this is not done impromptu, it is not easy for him to decide on such a step, he prepares for it for a long time and is very afraid that his proposal will not be accepted.
It’s nice to look at a man in love: his gait becomes light, he slowly hums some melody, he wants to do something nice for everyone around him.
But it also happens that the behavior of a man in love, when he wants to make contact with a woman, takes on an aggressive form: he mocks his passion, makes comments, but this also says that he is not indifferent to her.
Having fallen in love, a man subconsciously wants this woman to take up a lot of space in his life. Therefore, when meeting he strives to tell her as much as possible about himself. At the same time, she comes up with all sorts of incredible reasons for meetings, and in the company chooses her as an interlocutor. The relationship is still very superficial, and in order to somehow get closer, the man talks about some episodes of childhood, youth, and about his family.
A man in love wants constantly keep the object of your sighs in sight. He literally doesn't take his eyes off the woman. He is ready to accompany the lady everywhere, tries to keep abreast of her affairs, although the woman does not tell him about it.
The man strives to help her when the opportunity arises, to bring her at least some benefit, while sparing neither time nor money, even using all the connections he has. He does everything so that the lady considers him a positive character. For her sake, he is ready to make any sacrifice. He can give up bad habits, from meeting with friends, from everything that was previously part of his life.
This is one of the first signs that a man is in love. If suddenly it became be interested in clothes and even fashion, began to actively visit the gym, take care of his hair, which means a woman has appeared in his life.
He also suddenly became the object of his attention. He wants to be in the eyes of a woman a self-sufficient man, with whom you can safely connect your life and have a secure future. By the way, this is a sure sign that a person is already on the verge of taking a decisive step, declaring his love and proposing.
In a man in love jealousy awakens, especially if his chosen one is an attractive woman and there are always people near her whom he perceives only as rivals. He is aggressive towards them. Jealousy can take a lover so far that he may avoid meeting his beloved.
All of the listed signs apply primarily to men who, perhaps for the first time, are experiencing such intense love and do not know how to skillfully hide it.
But there are representatives of the stronger sex who are always driven by pride, or who have lost faith in love. They diligently avoid communication with women, which actually interested them. They are especially cold in conversations with her, and when meeting, they take their eyes off her. All this for one reason: they are afraid to discover weakness in their relationship with the woman they love. But such deliberate withdrawal is also a typical manifestation of the behavior of a man in love.
It happens: a man communicates friendlyly at a party with everyone present, but carefully avoids some woman so that no one notices that he is not indifferent to her. What should a woman do? If she is also interested in him, then she just needs to step over the inconvenience and be the first to approach the proud man, talk about something insignificant, but at the same time observe his facial expressions and behavior. No matter how hard he tries, at such moments he will not be able to hide his true attitude towards a woman.
A woman has many ways to recognize a man who is in love with her, even if he carefully hides it. For example, they went to one party. A woman should take a closer look at where the toes of his shoes point. If in her direction, everything is clear, he is not indifferent to her person.
The man seems to be talking to the woman indifferently, but at the same time his hands are restless: sometimes they are on his hips, sometimes he is fiddling with his belt. This is evidence that he has a sexual attraction to the charming woman standing next to him.
This is also evidenced by his subconscious desire during a conversation to shorten the distance between himself and the lady in order to get into her personal space.
- If a young man touches his face endlessly,
- tidy up your hair,
- straightens his clothes, brushes off invisible dust,
- often goes to the mirror and straightens his tie,
- walks with an unnaturally straight back and tries to maintain a proud posture,
- puts his hands on the back of the chair where the girl is sitting,
- tries to repeat the movements of some lady - all this is sign language, which is well understood by sensitive and loving women.
- Eyes are the mirror of love
A man's gaze usually reveals all the feelings. If during a conversation on the most everyday, business topics, a man’s eyes “walk” across a woman’s silhouette, - this means that he feels great sympathy for his interlocutor, and maybe even love.
It is not standard, because it is dictated by the feelings of a particular person. Even if the explanation sounds like a phrase of three cherished words, the person in love is still extremely excited at this moment, and even for the lady of his heart, the confession can be a shock and a surprise. But at the same time, the woman understands everything that the man who loves her wants to say, and allows him to remain himself.
Warnings for women
Women are often mistaken, mistaking a man’s unusual behavior for falling in love. If, for example, he has a way of fiddling with his earlobe during a conversation with a lady, he should not delude himself that the interlocutor is not very interesting to him.
Or, on the contrary, a man clearly seduces a lady and induces her to have sexual intercourse. This is not love, and you should not expect any serious relationship with him. As soon as he gets his, his attention will immediately switch to another lady.
If a woman has noticed typical signs of the behavior of a man in love, and she would like her admirer to become more active, she should help him with this, to make it clear that he is not indifferent to her. A tender look and a sweet smile from his beloved will make him more decisive. And if she still knows how to listen carefully and show her interest, then he will certainly be the first to take a step forward.
Sincere love is not difficult to notice. A sensitive and loving woman is able to see her signs and reciprocate.
How to tell if a man is in love with you. Typical signs
Posted: 03/02/2013 at 19:05
If he has recently become in love, it means that it is extremely difficult for him to control himself around you. First of all, pay attention to his breathing. Rapid breathing shows serious interest. And you yourself, probably, have paid attention to how quickly you breathe if an interesting man is nearby.
And he turns around to look at you. Almost always. Because he feels it.
Thus, the man unconsciously enters the intimate contact zone, which is 50 cm.
Be sure to smooth your hair with your hand. Even if they are too short or non-existent. And he can look in the mirror while passing by one. And as you wanted: he wants to please.
And perhaps he began to boast about his financial wealth. After all, it is vitally important for a man in love to appear serious, responsible and better to a woman.
A man in love strives to make a woman laugh. And he may even look like a clown. In general, the behavior of a man in love becomes surprisingly illogical. But when he meets you, his mood is always high. As if ready to take off. What to do - falling in love. She defies reason and logic, turning anyone into a child.
But the most important thing: his desperate desire to see each other constantly forces him to find the most ridiculous reasons for meetings. And if he doesn’t call for several days, then this is too serious a test for a lover.
And one more thing: a man who reveals his soul by talking about his past is definitely not just like that. Even if you're just friends.
But there are men who are too proud, too firm to believe in love and show their feelings. They may deliberately not look at you, avoid communication, and act deliberately cold. After all, you confuse them, and most of all they are afraid of appearing weak. In this case, pay attention to how he reacts to your appearance. If he greets all of the lonely person’s friends warmly and only noticeably avoids you (although there were no reasons for such an attitude), then he is probably trying to hide his weakness for you. Feel free to approach him to talk about some neutral topic, and at that moment study his eyes, breathing and behavior. Because if you are two steps away from him, all his attempts to look like a stone statue will fail.
Love comes both when you don't expect it and when you desperately wait for it. Love comes in spite of. Like the sun on a new day. Catch its rays in the palm of your hand. There's no hiding it.
If a man loves and avoids.
Situations often occur that put girls in an awkward situation. Meetings, conversations, relationships are sometimes suddenly interrupted by the constant attempts of the other half to hide and distance themselves. What should you do if a man loves and avoids? And does he love if he avoids?
Why does a man avoid communication?
A man can avoid communication for various reasons, much depends on the circumstances and duration of your acquaintance. So, let's look at the most common reasons why a man avoids communicating with a woman:
As you understand, there can be a lot of reasons. Moreover, if a man in love avoids a woman, this is doubly strange, since a truly in love person is always looking for communication.
What to do if a man avoids?
If you have known a man for a relatively short time, it is quite possible that in this way he is trying to refuse communication with you. Not every person has the courage to come up and say directly: “Sorry, we can’t meet anymore.” In such cases, weak people do not answer calls, avoid meetings and indirectly make it clear that they are not interested in communication. In this case, you don’t need to do anything, just let the person go and proudly move on.
If you have been in a relationship for a long time and see no reason for such behavior, then you have no options except one: dig up your arguments and talk to the man. Observe him for a couple of weeks, if possible, noting evidence of abnormal behavior in the form of text messages, etc. When you collect enough facts, analyze and make sure that this is not your invention, but the real state of affairs, it’s worth talking to a man.
It is better to structure the conversation according to this scheme:
As a result of such a conversation, it is worth finding out the reasons and asking how you can help him combat them, since his behavior is ruining your relationship.
In any case, avoidance is always an alarming symptom. A loving person strives to spend as much free time as possible with his beloved, and if this no longer works for your relationship, perhaps the feelings are no longer the same. Don’t give up ahead of time, find out everything you can and make a decision based on that.
How to understand a man's intentions if a man avoids telling the truth
Hello dear readers of the Samprosvetbyulleten blog!
“How to understand a man’s intentions if a man avoids explanations? After several dates, the man does not call or respond to messages. I suffered for a month in suspense, not knowing what happened. Then it turned out that from the very beginning of our acquaintance he had been dating another girl and now everything was serious with them. Was it really so difficult for me to say this directly? — writes Marina.
“How to understand a man’s intentions at the beginning of dating? I feel frustrated because the men I dated avoided telling me the truth. For example, about what they want from meetings, whether they are looking for a serious relationship or just want to spend time together, what they do for a living, and most importantly, whether they are dating anyone else. In general, they were just telling lies on my ears,” Vera writes.
Most women, at the beginning of dating, would like to know the man’s intentions: is he currently dating other women, is he looking for a serious relationship, is he ready for marriage.
Typical scenario - he is not only dating you
Let me give you a typical scenario. You are on your first or second date with a man, everything is going great. You laugh a lot, talk and are surprised at how much you have in common. You feel a spark run between you. Perhaps he is talking about where he would like to invite you. You feel like this is the start of something significant for the two of you.
But a week or two passes after the date, and he does not make himself known. Perhaps you send an SMS to a man, something like: “I haven’t heard from you for a long time... how are you?” But he doesn’t respond to this message and you don’t understand why the man ignores your attempts to find out what’s wrong.
Most likely, you analyze everything you said and did during the meeting to understand what mistakes you might have made. But after a month or more, you find out the truth: while he was charming you, he was already dating another woman, whom he eventually chose.
You are confused, disappointed, upset and can't understand why he couldn't just tell you the truth. The truth would be less painful than the days of waiting and worrying.
As you can see, this is a typical dating scenario and women want to know why a man is avoiding telling the truth.
Why does a man avoid telling you the truth?
A man may hide the truth from you at the beginning of your relationship because he doesn't like confrontation and is afraid that your reaction will be emotional. He is also afraid that he will not be able to control the situation, will not know what to answer you and how to behave, he is afraid of being humiliated and rejected. A man may imagine that you will start crying, complaining, getting angry, or swearing. He is afraid of being attacked by you. It doesn’t matter that you are a balanced person and know how to behave. He doesn't know you well enough and there may have been women in his past who really "stressed" him with their emotional reactions.
A man could be honest and say directly: “ I know a woman I would like to get to know better. You’re wonderful, but I feel like we have a chance with someone else and I want to try.” Instead, he avoids you, hoping that he will never have to talk to you openly face to face and listen to your judgments about him. He doesn’t think at this moment how you feel; the main thing for him is to avoid confrontation and criticism, which he is afraid of.
Of course, this is immature, childish behavior, but this is exactly what happens in these situations. And while not all men behave as described above, many women face this scenario.
A man can mention his intentions, his views on women and relationships, and his past experiences in a conversation. You just need to listen carefully to what he says and draw conclusions.
If you want to get a man to open up, you need to let him know that it is completely safe for him to be open with you. Whatever he says, you will simply accept it as a given without a negative reaction. Show that you are a positive woman and are able to calmly, easily accept any information and react neutrally.
Being a good listener and communicator on a date does not mean that you accept and approve of everything a man says to you. You are simply getting information about him to draw conclusions and decide whether to date him further. Does what he tells you fit your life and requirements?
Separate the two actions:
1. The ability to be a neutral listener and interlocutor who can calmly listen to information without losing composure.
2. The ability to analyze the information received and make a decision based on it.
If you have managed to show yourself as a neutral listener, you can ask any questions that interest you, emphasizing that you are now driven only by simple curiosity.
- “Are you dating someone else now, just curious”;
- “I’m curious, what do you dislike most about women?”;
- “I’m curious, what do you think suits you better now, a serious relationship or just meetings without obligations?”
A neutral perception of words, curiosity, will show that you will normally perceive everything that is said, without judgment or evaluation. You are independent and respect the independence of others, you feel safe telling the truth and can be honest without consequences. If you manage to create such an atmosphere on the first two dates, you will receive the maximum amount of truthful information from the man. What to do with it later, decide for yourself.
It's not that a man is afraid of certain questions, but how a woman asks those questions and how she might respond to them. If you want to encourage a man to be honest, you must learn to be neutral about what he shares with you. This technique will help you avoid wasting time on the wrong person who is not interested in a serious relationship.
Good luck to you and see you soon on the pages of Samprosvetbyulleten!
How to tell if a man is in love with you
Love cannot be hidden for long. It's like covering the blinding sun with your palm. Strong feelings are like rays of the sun, which can be caught in your hand and lost with one careless movement.
Perhaps you are not dating this man, but see each other as friends, classmates, co-workers, or just acquaintances. But something inexplicable lurks in his eyes, and you want to understand: is this love?
The eyes will tell what he is silent about. When looking at an attractive woman, a man's pupils dilate. It's like it suddenly gets dark.
And, of course, he is watching! How is his view different?
First: his eyes always flash, like a match to a flame. This is later, he can turn away as much as he wants and “not show it.” You need to catch that first moment when your presence comes as a surprise to him. But here it is important not to make a mistake, because eyes can light up even with a simple friendly disposition. Then read on.
Second: the gaze of a man in love is similar to the gravitational force of the earth for the moon. He would be glad to break away, but again and again he returns to the woman. And as tight as a key magnet. The feeling should be as if he wants to reach you with this look.
Third: a man in love looks at you for too long during a conversation. Even when you are both silent.
Fourth: a man in love tries to be as close to your eyes as possible. It is worth remembering the comparison with a magnet. It feels like a little more and faces will collide.
Fifth: his gaze slides over your face, as if studying, and always finds your lips and lingers on them. He's so hungry for a kiss!
The desire to touch you makes him find any excuse: be it a leaf in his hair or a non-existent speck of dust. And, touching you, he looks into your eyes!
Pay attention to his clothes. Suddenly he began to dress up and douse himself in cologne, when before such zeal was not observed in him.
A man in love strives to make a woman laugh. And he may even look like a clown. In general, the behavior of a man in love becomes surprisingly illogical. But when he meets you, his mood is always high. As if ready to take off. What to do - falling in love. She defies reason and logic, turning anyone into a child.
A man in love cannot resist caring for the woman he loves. Feels changes in the shades of your mood in your voice and asks: “What happened?” He puts a jacket on you so you don’t catch a cold, and warms your palms with his breath.
And one more thing: a man who reveals his soul by talking about his past is definitely not just like that. Even if you're just friends.
The behavior of a man who is in love is somewhat different from the behavior of a woman in love. In particular, women tend to openly express their feelings towards a representative of the stronger sex. But a man, on the contrary, can behave absolutely normally when meeting with his object of affection.
Many women are concerned with the question of how to recognize that a man is in love with you and plans to build a serious relationship with you. Knowing a man's attitude towards his person, women make contact more easily and openly flirt with a man who is deeply attracted to them. Therefore, for the further development of relationships, it is very important for women to understand whether a man is in love or whether this is an easy, insignificant flirtation on his part.
Despite men’s skillful hiding of their feelings, it is their behavior that reveals their true feelings.
The first feeling that arises is confusion. A confident, narcissistic and strong man, who is used to always winning, and to some extent arrogant, suddenly falls into the power of emotions and feelings and loses all his ability to think in the presence of the culprit of this state. He becomes a shy and insecure person, but he cannot do anything. After each such meeting, he begins to reproach himself for such behavior, feeling like a complete idiot that he cannot open his feelings.
A man in love shows persistent attention to the object that interests him. At the same time, persistence can manifest itself in a variety of forms, for example, in the form of an invitation to the theater or cinema. But at the same time, every such surprise is carefully planned by him, thought out with the fear that he may be rejected. Attention can also manifest itself not in a friendly form, but even aggressively, in the form of ridicule and sarcastic remarks addressed to the woman, which also indicates his concern for her.
A man in love tries to communicate as much as possible with the object of his adoration, tells a lot about himself, his childhood, family, habits and hobbies. Constantly looking for meetings with this particular woman, while inventing the most ridiculous reasons for this. In one company, he also prefers her as an interlocutor. This behavior of a man in love is explained by the fact that subconsciously he wants this woman to become a part of his life. But since the relationship between them is not yet so close, his only option is to tell her as much as possible about himself; for him, the positive opinion of the woman he loves about him is of great importance. In addition, a man who has fallen into the power of love feelings will listen carefully to his interlocutor, be interested in her aspirations, goals and desires. He will be glad to find any coincidences in his life priorities and his woman.
Very often, a man who is seriously interested in a woman tries to bring some benefit to the woman, takes care of her, is ready to help in all the difficulties she encounters, spending his money and time, sometimes connecting existing connections. In general, he tries to become a positive character in the eyes of a woman.
A man in love always ends up not far from the object of his love. At the same time, the woman herself feels his piercing gaze on herself. Such a man is always ready to accompany this woman. He is always aware of where the woman is and what she is doing, although she does not tell him about it.
If suddenly a man began to carefully monitor his appearance, hairstyle, often appear in new clothes, or started working out in the gym, then all this indicates that he is in love.
A man in love is very jealous, especially if there are men hovering around his woman, in whom he sees real rivals. His assertiveness and aggression towards them betrays his feelings. The feeling of jealousy will eat him up from the inside, so in order not to worry even more, he may even begin to avoid meeting the woman he loves.
A man in love begins to think about his financial situation and ways to improve it, which indicates that thoughts about a joint future with the woman he loves are hovering in his head. Therefore, one should soon expect a confession of feelings.
However, not all men can show their feelings because of their pride and strong character, or because of a lack of faith in love. Such men may deliberately avoid communicating with the woman they are interested in, show coldness when communicating, and not look in her direction. Men are most afraid of showing their weakness, and a woman confuses them. But this behavior also indicates that a man is in love. For example, if at a party with all his friends he is equally friendly and sweet, but noticeably avoids you, while you did not give any reasons for such behavior, most likely he is trying to hide his attitude towards you. In this case, you need to approach him yourself and start a conversation on a neutral topic, while carefully studying his behavior, breathing, facial expressions... Being in potential proximity to you, he will no longer be able to behave like a statue.
Gestures and facial expressions also reveal a man in love.
- For example, when meeting in the same group of friends, look in which direction the toes of his shoes are turned. If in your direction, all the facts are clear.
- If, when communicating with you, a man puts his hands on his hips and hooks his fingers on the belt, this indicates obvious sexual attraction, which, in turn, is the main sign of falling in love.
- The behavior of a man in love is subconsciously aimed at reducing the distance between you, so when talking to you, a man in love will most likely enter your personal space, that is, reduce the distance (up to half a meter).
- The look reveals a man's love. If you are of more than just friendly or business interest to a man, then his gaze will wander over your entire silhouette rather than focusing on any specific point.
Based on the man’s behavior, you saw all the signs of his falling in love and you want him to be the first to take the initiative, then support him in this. A radiant look and a friendly and flirtatious smile will do the trick. Know how to listen to a man, show with your appearance that you are not indifferent to him, that only with him you feel like a happy person. He will definitely notice this and take steps towards it.
Despite the fact that male love is significantly different from female love, it is still sincere. It is quite easy to see and recognize it. The main thing is not to miss it.
