Agnia Ditkovskite: “I have a man with whom I feel absolutely protected. Agnia Ditkovskite: biography, personal life, family, husband, children - photo “Many” - that’s who

“A drooping look, always sad eyes, which is why the smile is never attacking, open... This is Agnia Ditkovskite, whom everyone knows. And look at her at the Bulgakov Theater, in the play “Conspiracy in English”: mischievous, with frantic energy, a clown with a capital C. Actress Ditkovskite can be different and never ceases to prove it. Well, in life... A lot has changed for Agnia lately. I’m glad that it was for our magazine that she wanted to do her first photo shoot with her son Fyodor and talk about how she lives a year after her divorce,” writes Vadim Vernik in his “Un Certain Regard” column.

A Gnia, you and I did an interview a year and a half ago, shortly before it became known about your separation with Lyosha Chadov. You tried to pretend that everything was fine, answering questions about your personal life in a life-affirming manner. Then, to be honest, I was left with a bad feeling: I felt that you weren’t telling me something, but I couldn’t get through to the real you.

I understand you, Vadim. It was really hard for me at that time, very hard, but I still didn’t know how to talk about it. It seemed easier to hide everything from others. But now I understand that it was such a self-deception.

Time passed, a new life began.

Of course, things are different now. In any case, meeting someone, breaking up with someone is a kind of starting point that directs your life either in a good direction or in a bad direction. It all depends on how strong a person is in spirit, how self-sufficient he is.

In fact, both me and, I hope, Lyosha are doing well now. He has a lot of work, he is a wonderful father. It just happens that when people are together, they slightly slow down each other’s development, without even knowing it. It happened as it happened, but the main thing is that each of us is now in harmony with ourselves.

Tell me, how long did it take you to find this very harmony?

Divorce is a difficult time. First of all, it is important for me that Fedor feels harmonious. He always lives either with me or with Lyosha, and this, of course, is not very good for the child’s psyche. But Fedechka is not deprived of love, and in this case this is the main thing.

Your family life with Lyosha was long enough; after all, you lived together for more than ten years. This is a lot, especially for young and active individuals like you.

Well, yes, the blood boils and boils. ( Smiles.) Lyosha is handsome, a talented actor, and for such a man at twenty-four, I think it was not easy for him to integrate into family life. Well, at the age of seventeen I was such a maximalist! Naturally, everything changed, our relationship matured with us. But the result turned out exactly like this.

Fedor is two years old. When you and Lyosha broke up, he probably didn’t really understand anything.

This is still a certain energy to which the child reacts; he reads the state of the mother, the state of the father. Therefore, you know, here you need to do as they advise on airplanes: “Put the mask on yourself first, then on the child.” We must first understand ourselves. Now we have adjusted the situation in such a way that everyone is comfortable. The child must understand that he has a dad, he has a mother, and that he is not disadvantaged by not seeing one of his parents for months. Psychologists say (and I think this is correct) that at the initial stage of development, up to the age of five, a child needs a mother more. So what is next...

I was five years old when my parents separated, and I could already figure out for myself whether I wanted to go to my dad or my mom, and I ran around like that, leading such a nomadic life. I believe that a child should decide for himself who he wants to be with at a given moment. This is the thinnest line there can be - the psyche of a child.

Have you and Chadov already learned to hear each other? Still, you need to communicate about Fedor all the time.

I hear him, I always heard him. If you start a dialogue with me, I will never close myself off or say “no” right away. I try not to let my ambitions get in the way of my healthy responses to situations. In principle, we are now having, I will say, a constructive dialogue. The longer this goes on, the better it will be for all of us.

Is your son already showing character?

Certainly! He is an absolute leader! With him I actually feel like such a baby. Fedor is purposeful, he always knows what he wants. But at the same time he is very gentle, he can come up for no reason, hug you and purr something in your ear for a long time. Fedya is an incredible child, for which I am, of course, incredibly grateful to Lesha. God wanted him to appear with us. I’m now reading him all sorts of “developmental books”, reading Agnia Barto. I have a lot of literature on painting, and Fedya already knows the impressionists and points with his finger. Recently I got a piano teacher, my mother gave me a Yamaha, an electronic piano. My son and I, one might say, work out together. You should have seen, Vadim, how he helps me sit down at the instrument. I'll show you the video later.

Agnia, tell me, have you changed this year?

It seems to me that I am constantly changing, even regardless of the circumstances. Now I have started an independent life, now I am responsible for myself and for the child. Of course, motherhood changes you at a crazy speed, even if you yourself don’t notice it at first. Softness appears, you learn to give in and compromise.

Fedor is my son, and I learned to understand that he is a person, a person, and I must listen to his wishes. And here wisdom probably helps.

Here we are talking about the fact that you have started a new life. Are you in love now?

I realized, Vadim, one more thing: that I now want to hide my personal life under fifty-six locks. Of course, I don’t promise, but at the moment I’m sure that if something changes in my life on a personal level, I’m unlikely to want to talk about it. Let them come up with different oligarchs who will give me houses.

By the way, you live in a new country house...

The house is not mine, but my mother's. And the good oligarch is the one who “donates” the house, but does not give money for repairs. ( Laughs.) We are constantly visited by some drones, these flying cameras, photographing everything around us. I understand that these are costs of the profession, but it’s not easy to live with... Not everyone knows how to sincerely rejoice at other people’s successes. And I, as you know, am a very sensitive person, I don’t like negativity and I try in every possible way to isolate myself from it. In connection with this, she even closed free access to her Instagram. ( Smiles.)

Fine. Well, to meet new love, you need to be in constant search, you need to concentrate only on this?

I don't know. It seems to me that the most important thing is to find yourself first. When you realize that you have stopped crying every day because you want love, that you are tired of being alone... When you are self-sufficient, the next step is given to you from above.

Did you have such severe despair?

Every person periodically begins to delve into himself and fall into depression. First of all, I’m not starting from the fact that I have someone or don’t have someone - I, frankly, am very calm about this.

I start from the fact that I work too little on myself, that I waste a lot of time.

And yet, are you now ready to plunge into family life again, or should time still pass?

What's the time for? It seems to me that everything always happens on time. As they say, you can’t go against your clock; something that shouldn’t happen will never happen. But now I am completely immersed in work, focused on the child first and foremost. In general, as it will be, so it will be.

I’ve known you for a long time - I’m sure that this whole story of parting with Lyosha was a real test of strength for you.

Certainly. During and after such tests, we test ourselves, evaluate how strong we are, whether we can get up like this, dust ourselves off and move on.

You say you have a lot of work to do right now. Are you actively filming?

My mother recently launched her own story as a director and screenwriter.

What are you doing?! Congratulations!

Yes, she wrote the script herself. At one time I studied with a teacher at the Shchukin School, Vladimir Petrovich Poglazov. Returning from classes, I always enthusiastically told my mother about how he greeted me and how the training was going. I had a real inner uplift. And my mother, having heard enough of these stories, woke up one night and wrote a story about a girl and her teacher. It turned out to be a real script for a short film. Several years have passed, and my mother suddenly, out of the blue, says that it’s time to start. On the twenty-sixth of September we had our first day of filming.

So you play that girl...

Yes. And in the role of Poglazov - Vladimir Ilyin. We have an incredible team together. In the film, I will read a monologue from Catharina, the heroine of Shakespeare’s “The Taming of the Shrew,” which is something I have always dreamed of. So dreams are slowly starting to come true. What's next? I am being introduced to the play “The Master and Margarita” directed by Sergei Aldonin. Despite my doubts, I will play Margarita.

What doubts can there be here?

For some reason I feel like I don’t have enough experience as a woman. Perhaps when I’m a little older, perhaps around thirty-five, he will appear. In the meantime... But I will try, of course.

What should change by age thirty-five?

Perhaps I can say that I know what it is to go crazy in love with a man.

Wait, but you had such love!

Love, yes, but I didn’t go crazy, you know? Lyosha and I had an even, calm, harmonious feeling. It really was such real love - without torment, throwing, without strain. You can call love a disease that clouds your mind and vision when you stop noticing someone. Or maybe I don’t want such crazy love.

I think it's also your character. Baltic blood may not let you go crazy with love like that.

Who knows? But now I don’t see myself tormented in the throes of love.

Is it possible that you will never meet your love again?

I thought about it, of course. But that doesn't scare me. I prefer to live for today. Thinking about the future, thinking fifteen steps ahead is more a man’s lot, you must agree. And a woman... We are so unpredictable, eccentric, careless. A woman cannot foresee everything. A man simply appears in her life, takes her in his arms and says: “That’s it, now you are with me.” And there’s nothing you can do about it. I have only one man now - my little Fedor, with whom I feel absolutely protected.

Vadim Vernik: “Agniya Ditkovskite and Alexey Chadov came to our meeting, at my home, in a great mood. And looking at them, it’s hard to believe that they broke up a few years ago. But Agnia and Alexei are united by their common son Fyodor, and this is forever. New life experiences made them more tolerant and wiser. A good example for others."

A Gnia, Lyosha, I’m very glad to see you together. It seems to me that in so many years that we have known each other, this is the first time I’ve seen you two together.

Alexey: Seriously? Ten years of such a crazy whirlwind romance? You missed everything. ( Laughs.) How come we haven’t all met together...

I don't understand it myself. But our meeting today is a good sign. This suggests that life is a flexible thing, and this is its big advantage. As practice shows, there is no need to close any doors behind you...

Agnia: No way.

Alexey: One hundred percent. It may seem to you that you have closed some door for yourself and will never enter it again. But that's not true. Everything in life is much more fun. Everything has its time. The main thing is to approach decisions consciously. At the age of thirty, I consciously proposed to Agnia, and at twenty-five I was not yet ready for this, although many persuaded me to take this step.

“Many” - who is this?

Agnia: I don't know. ( Laughs.)

Alexey: Our mutual friends. They hinted that the relationship should move in a certain direction, that the next step was a proposal, which was quite logical and natural.

Agnia: I've been waiting for so many years! And it turns out they persuaded you. ( Laughs.)

How long did you wait?

Agnia: How much? What year did we get married?

Alexey: In the twelfth. I had just turned thirty years old.

Agnia: And I’m twenty-three. I was so young. Time flies very quickly, you don’t even have time to realize it. In your heart, it’s like you’re still the same child, only different events happen, something happens to you, but you just can’t accept the fact that you’re growing up.

Alexey: You know, Vadim, but on the contrary, I began to notice that I was finally behaving like an adult in some ways.

How is it shown?

Alexey: This is, of course, largely due to the main event in my life. I now have a responsibility on a global scale - this is a son, a boy, a man, my heir, who needs to be raised, to whom a lot needs to be explained and told. I'm talking mainly about spiritual things, about family values. Raising a good person is important to me.

Fedor is now three and a half years old. Are you already having some manly conversations with him?

Alexey: Of course. He is now at the most interesting age - he constantly asks something and listens with great attention.

For example, he asks the question, why does dad come and go?

Agnia: You know, no. Firstly, we both come and go constantly, we work constantly. And as a matter of fact, I didn’t ask such questions as a child either.

Is this when your mother separated from your father?

Agnia: Yes. They both worked. Either mom is gone for a month, then suddenly mom returns. Well, this is such a gypsy life. Our children, unfortunately, are doomed to this. But we can take our son with us, for example.

Alexey: You, Vadim, say if he asks why dad comes and leaves. Firstly, my son spends a lot of time with me, and if I am free, I devote all my time to him. And secondly, it is important to understand that at his age, his mother is still more necessary and important. And this is felt, and I am completely calm about this. If you want to see your mother, please. As a boy, I understand him. Even at the age of thirteen, I asked: “Mom, lie with me, give me a massage.” This cannot be contradicted here under any circumstances.

And we build our relationship in such a way that the boy feels comfortable. We, of course, are adults, we will figure out what and how. We go on vacation together, and to some people this seems very strange.

Really weird. Three of us?

Agnia: Yes.

Alexey: Why is this actually strange? If I’m on vacation with my son, and he needs his mother, what should I do now - don’t go on vacation with my son, or something. ( Laughs.)

High relationships. And you, Agnia, are you also completely normal about such a vacation?

Agnia: Naturally. First of all, I feel very comfortable with Lyosha. He is the closest person to me, closer, probably, even to my friends. ( Laughs.) We don't strain each other.

When you were married, did you get stressed?

Agnia: No. But before we had some rights over each other, but now we don’t have these rights and it’s so convenient.

Alexey: Yeah, there is an opportunity to treat each other more respectfully. ( Laughs.)

Guys, it takes time, a lot of time, to come to such harmony.

Agnia: Of course.

Alexey: I had to go the whole way. And such a difficult one - many do not withstand these tests. Now I can say to myself that I have become quite strong. Certainly,

divorce is a little death. Separation is a serious process, especially when you have a child together.

Agnia: We, like all young couples, separated several times to think about how to continue living. We separated after three years of marriage for about a year, then got back together, then broke up, got back together and immediately got married.

How many years were you married in the end?

Alexey: Three years.

Agnia: Something like three years is a fatal figure for us. ( Smiles.)

Lyosha, you say that you had to go a long way...

Alexey: We had a small child. I myself grew up without a father, and for me the completeness of the family is the most important factor. Therefore, in order to come to this easy and seemingly cheerful feast, like now at your home, Agnia and I went through a lot. I’ll tell you about myself: this situation has battered me, of course.

But of course, there are more serious stories when children really suffer, when parents categorically do not accept each other and their relatives are constantly fighting among themselves. There are many such examples.

Agnia: On the other hand, when is parting simple? When does it not bother you, when does it not touch you? Especially when you understand that there really was love, and, probably, it was so strong and real that, apparently, you will never experience anything like it again. I’m talking about myself now, about the emotions that I experienced with Lyosha. You know, when you meet a person and you don’t have questions like “who is he?”, “what is he?”, “how much does he earn?” You just met him, fell in love and walk hand in hand with him. This is a problem, probably, because now I am looking for no less emotions.

Alexey: Agnia, I’ll tell you honestly, I understand what you’re talking about. The level of our love was quite high, sometimes it even seemed that this was all impossible, that it just didn’t happen. Many, at the height of our feelings, envied us - it was impossible to hide. And of course, now that we are over thirty, it’s already very difficult to fall in love with someone like that. Especially men.

Nowadays, beautiful legs and beautiful eyes are no longer enough. If I fall in love now for real, then I will fall in love first of all with the inner world of a person.

Agnia, Lyosha, you feel each other so much, you understand each other. Or maybe it can still be glued?

Agnia: Honestly, I no longer renounce anything in this life. ( Laughs.)

Alexey: Everything is glued together fine. Our relationship is good, wonderful, human. I am proud of Fyodor’s mother, she is a good mother, and she is growing in this title, so to speak. So we have an excellent relationship, the only thing is that we are such an American model of a family.

Agnia: Guest marriage?

Alexey: Something like that.

You separated three years ago, right?

Alexey: Yes.

Agnia: Number three again.

Lesha, do you have a new relationship now?

Alexey: Of course there is, a man should always have a relationship. ( Laughs.)

Agnia: ( Laughs.)

Alexey: I am the kind of person who needs a woman next to him like air.

Then I’ll ask another question: how does your friend feel about you going on vacation with your ex-wife?

Alexey: With understanding. ( Laughs.) I’m not doing this for myself. I have no interest in resting for myself at all. But for my son, for my family... I see how happy my son and mother are together, and I get great pleasure from it.

Now you have an understanding. And immediately after the divorce there was probably a period of great resentment towards each other.

Agnia: I don’t know how to be offended.

Alexey: By the way, I also don’t know how to hold grudges. Agnia: We, Vadim, talked to you even at the peak of our divorce with Lyosha. You must remember that I never said that Lyosha was bad. No matter what happens. But I'm a truth teller. ( Smiles.)

I’m still trying to understand what then became the reason for your separation?

Agnia: Difficult question. You know, we never fought...

Alexey: ...we didn’t sort things out. We had disagreements of a different nature; sometimes they were not entirely related to our personal relationships. There were always some outside influences anyway. Parents, friends, society - this is generally the norm. If we lived on an island like in the movie The Blue Lagoon, we would be happy. Lord God, us and nature.

Guys, an amazing thing happened: you were offered to unite again for the STS “Allies” project - to become presenters. Tell me, did this happen on time?

Alexey: You know, by this moment we were already communicating well, we had already become allies.

Agnia: Yes. Fatima, one of the producers of the show, said that on some website she saw a photograph of us together with the headline “The couple united for the sake of the child” (we were on vacation together in Italy), and this was the slogan of the future program.

Tell us more about this project.

Agnia: The point is that divorced couples are fighting among themselves to earn ten million rubles for their children, which they can spend when the children turn eighteen. This is something like “The Last Hero,” that is, there are quite tough physical tests that ex-husbands and wives must go through together. Filming took place in Sri Lanka for three months.

Many arrived simply on terrible terms, literally hating each other; at first they couldn’t even see each other, let alone talk.

Alexey: In my opinion, this is a very original reality show. First of all, it is associated with real emotions; it cannot be played or imitated. It's interesting to watch. There were couples who lived together for more than ten years, then divorced, and now they meet again, in the name of the child, in these Spartan conditions to undergo tests that only close people can withstand. Moreover, their children remained in Russia and they could only communicate by phone according to a schedule. All the heroes are not actors; they do not know how to play to an audience. I've seen forty-year-old men cry. This, of course, costs a lot.

Why were they crying?

Agnia: We had meetings and conversations in the amphitheater. There were situations when, for example, a psychologist talked to a child of our participants in Russia and asked him to draw a picture of happiness. And then he showed this drawing to his parents, deciphered it, and it turned out that their child at seven years old was prone to suicide because of the relationships that existed in his family. Due to the fact that he was not allowed to communicate, for example, with one of his parents, due to the fact that relatives could not agree among themselves. And the child became a participant in this battle.

You also had a period when there was a struggle for a child.

Alexey: No.

Agnia: No.

Alexey: We had fears. I really made Agnia understand that for me my son is my whole life and if you try to take him away, nothing will come of it.

Agnia: And I thought that Lyosha wanted to take Fedya away from me, and I was terribly afraid of it.

Alexey: I would never do that in my life. We were both afraid of the same thing, really. We were immersed in these fears and simply did not hear each other.

Agnia: Fears are born only when you cannot sit down and just talk to a person.

And this is the most important thing, that at some point you finally heard each other.

Agnia: Do you know how this happened? Lyosha invited me to participate in the play “Stranger 32”.

Alexey: My friend, producer Albert Moginov, and I conceived the idea of ​​a performance. The problem was the actress. Everyone who wanted to be invited was busy at that time, and the play had to be released in any case. And so we sat down one day - we were thinking, and suddenly Albert said: what if I propose to your ex-wife? I then thought it was a good idea. Firstly, Agnia is suitable for this role, and secondly, it is a story about a young couple on the verge of divorce. In general, everything worked out. Agnia just had free time, and she agreed.

Was it easy for you to work together amid this whole situation?

Agnia: No problem for me at all.

Alexey: By this time we had already gone through a lot. And it has always been easy for us to work together. And I won’t lie, I understood that Fedya would be able to go on tour with us and see mom and dad together. So in this sense I am a selfish person. ( Laughs.)

All clear. Tell me, do you already have new plans for a vacation with your son?

Alexey: Now we are thinking together. I just finished filming, I haven’t really seen Fedya for two and a half months. During all this time, I was at home three times, and then only on short visits. Now I’m back, my life has improved, and, of course, my son and I enjoy communicating.

Is someone helping you with Fedor?

Alexey: Now my mother helps me, and my brother often comes to visit us. Mom worked as an engineer for twenty-nine years, a year was not enough for her anniversary, but I “fired” her, I said, it’s time to work for the family. ( Smiles.) And now I’m building a separate house outside the city for my grandparents, they’re both approaching ninety.

Grandfather is looking forward to this moment and dreams of planting an apple tree there. He has lived all his life in a private house in Kazakhstan and is waiting for me to move them all to my place and for him and Fedya to plant an apple tree. This is, of course, so touching.

Your son, of course, is a happy person, treated kindly. But so many children grow up twitchy and nervous precisely because of the monstrous relationship between parents, when mom slanders dad and vice versa.

Alexey: And there is also clan enmity. It's not just mom and dad. This is the inability to call grandparents... And the child is always the victim. A child, of course, should know that his mother is the best, his father is the best, and together they are strong. Agnia and I really communicate quite closely, there are, of course, moments in which we cannot break the distance - this rather concerns some personal circumstances. But one way or another, we live at a very fast pace, children grow quickly, they need our presence and active participation, help.

Agnia: A child is like a clock. You can see from it how much time has passed.

Alexey: Fedor will go to school soon.

Guys, I'm very happy for you. I'm glad that you passed your difficult everyday exam with a solid A. I wish you and your son to go on a new trip together soon!

Alexey: In fact, now we are thinking about winter holidays. Last year I put Fedya on skis.

Agnia, do you also like skiing?

Agnia: No. I feel somewhat relaxed about winter too. I love skates, for me skates are romance.

Alexey: We are going to the end in the next few days, to a recreation center.

Together too?

Alexey: Yes. Why not.

Agnia: We can grab your girl too.

Alexey: Families will have to be friends ( Laughs), anyway. In general, it’s more fun this way. As one of my good friends said, there are never many women in the house.

In general, go and then tell us how it all happened.

Agnia: Definitely.